Kilimanjaro 2008

Never mess with an old FART

Never mess with an old FART

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'

The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.

They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and mutters,

'Gawd dammit!!.......
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'

Moral of this
Story? ....

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -
Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery Always overcome youth and arrogance!

OLD DUDES RULE

FARTS Kilimanjaro 2009 Reunion

After well over a year we organised a reunion of a nautical nature. 9 out of the original 13 made it on a warm, showery evening. Chris took "Mandu" his fish killing Kat and I took me yacht "Euphoria" for a bit of comfort for the boys.
On "Mandu" as is usual with Chris, the fishing was frantic, trying several marks and catching a few Pollock.
On "Euphoria" we did a bit of sailing and chilling and then our competitive edge kicked in for 10 minutes and we caught 6 mackerel. 3 by complete novice Fish Killer Mike Sullivan who also caught the fishing bug - he would not put the rod down.
These were BBQ'd at Pwll Du (Thanks Phil - any chance of my Spatula back!!) and consumed with some bevvies.
Then it was time to saunter back to the marina whilst Mandu frantically checked more marks for the elusive Bass with four rods.
Outside the marina Billy spotted some Gar fish and the one rod on "Euphoria" was cast and within seconds 2 more mackerel were caught for me supper. Lovely. Or did Owain catch them with his hands while swimming? Cant remember. Fishing with rods is for amateurs, proper Fish Killers use their hands and teeth!!



Any way time to rap this posting up cause Michael Douglas and Katherine Zita want a spin over to Croyde and a day out like The Hoff had!! Click here for more info

Raising money for ORCHID

As some may know FART our charity group is raising money for ORCHID (details above). Enzo Maccarinelli kindly donated some boxing gloves which were signed by himself and Joe Calzaghe. We sold these privately for £300.

Enzo (via his father in law) has donated somemore stuff to help which is fantastic.

I now have-

Two more boxing gloves signed by Enzo and Joe
A great poster signed by Enzo
A Ospreys rugby jersey signed by the whole squad.
A Swans jersey signed by the squad.

Let me know if anyone interested with reasonable offer or any way forward to ensure they go to a good home and we make some money for ORCHID. Please feel free to e mail anyone who might be interested but is known to you. I don’t want them on e bay!!

Cheers Chris

FARTS Wye Vally

FARTS Wye Vally Canoe and Kayak Trip 21ST June 2008-19 miles

12 FARTS arrived Hay on Wye on Friday night including a new Celebrity FART (Johnny Depp aka Capt. Jack Sparrow) for an overnight camp.

A few beers in the Three Tuns in Hay was followed, on the advice of our Sports nutritionist, a few FARTS opting for a curry and some a Chinese! Most FARTS had a peaceful night other than Paul T. who was busy training doing a swimming invididual medly in Alan’s watertight tent!! Boys put the roof on next time and a little more parcel tape to hold it together. No longer 3 Para but 4th SBS (Special Boat Service)! Down to the river and a further nutritious bacon butty before leaving on a 19 mile paddle down stream!

7 miles in and the FARTS were wondering what they had taken on! They stick at it to mile 11 and the Boat Inn for a well earned rest and a pint. Johnny Depp had to leave at this stage for a prior Celebrity engagement but the die hards paddled on to the end. Alan, the two Pauls amd Jenson all took a dip as the river flow got faster with the overnight rain! An arduous 6 hour paddle and aching shoulders and backs the boys deliver another difficult challenge.

FART adopts ORCHID as its's Charity for 2008/2009!

Formed in 1996 by former testicular cancer patient, Colin Osborne, Orchid is the only UK registered cancer charity to focus entirely on the male-specific cancers; prostate, penile and testicular. We exist to save lives and suffering caused by these diseases by funding medical research and promoting awareness about them.
We raise voluntary funds which enable us to continue funding pioneering research into the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of these dreadful diseases and improve education about them so that symptoms can be recognised and medical attention sought early; helping doctors to find cancers at an early stage when treatment is easier. Men should not die because of ignorance or embarrassment.
Testicular cancer is the most common cancer for men aged 15-45; each year around 2,000 young men are diagnosed and face the emotional and physical trauma of fighting this disease.
Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men in the UK with around 35,000 cases diagnosed and 10,000 deaths each year; this equates to one man dying every hour.
Penile cancer ffects around 400 men each year; normally over the age of 60. Sadly one in four patients does not survive.
Behind each statistic is a man; a father, son, brother, grandfather and friend, and behind each man there are family and friends who are affected by these uniquely men’s cancers.

Martin Preuss (1952-2007)
Martin Preuss was a top man. Martin did a 100 mile walk in 3 days in aid of NSPCC in 2004. This was quite some challenge and Martin was up the front inspirational as ever. Many FART members walked with Martin. Quite soon afterwards Martin became ill with a very aggressive prostate cancer and tragically died in 2007. Martin would have been up for many of the challenges that FART have/will be doing. We raise money for ORCHID in his and others memory.

A FART is born-why FART?
Mission
To raise money for charity and do a series of challenges and sponsored events.

Background
Previous challenges have raised considerable sums for charity. Money has been raised for a number of different charities. Individual collection of money can be difficult with cash, cheques etc often being given to individuals and the personal cheques given to charity. It can be difficult to keep track. F.A.R.T. provides an overall focus for collection of money and distribution to charity in a single yearly sum.
The Father Abraham name was born after a successful summit of Kilimanjaro 2008. In the bar afterwards the group performed the “Father Abraham had Seven Sons song” led by Rubber Johnnys (Robbie) and the usual bar tray. A complaint from a twit in the bar led to a minor affray. Thereafter the poor sad chap wished he hadn’t opened his mush as Father Abraham was sung and mentioned to exhaustion. The poor chap will never know the debt that charities throughout the world may owe him!!